I Need More Questions

I'm having a withdrawal, here. After the daily 30 Day Challenges ended, I fell out. I had developed a terrible addiction - an addiction to question and answers. I couldn't do another 30 Day Challenge. They'd call me insane. I tried to posit Formspring users into asking me questions, but alas, they seemed somewhat repulsed by the request. Now, there is only one person I can turn to.

James Lipton. Your show Inside the Actor's Studio features, without fail, a 10-question "interview" with your guest(s) at the end of every episode. If you will allow me, Mr Lipton, I will now steal your test for my own personal use. Mwahahaha! Though I do understand it is actually a heavily modified version of the Proust Questionnaire. And this specific rendition of the questionnaire actually devised by Bernard Pivot. Regardless; you should feel robbed, Mr Lipton. Robbed!!

1. What is your favourite word?

"Discombobulation". It's one of those wonderful English language words that goes to remind you how innately stupid the language truly is. It's all gobbledygook, every syllable, and that words like "discombobulate" legitimately exist in our collective vocabulary is, I think, an amazing and hilarious feat in and of itself.

2. What is your least favourite word?

"Diet". Look at it, sitting there. It just spells pain. It just oozes death. Die... et. Die, et. Diet. It rolls off the tongue like a drop of blood, and enters your ears like a knife enters a ribcage. "Diet." What a horrible, disgusting word.

3. What turns you on?

Dominance.

4. What turns you off?

Smoking.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

Don't read too much into this, but... pneumatic pistons contracting and detracting. The whole, "PSSHHHH" noise, like steam being released through a tiny gap. Love it.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound of a smug, self-assured, know-it-all, posh child's voice. They tend to be English. They also tend to speak in the most infuriating tone of any living being on Earth and everytime I hear them I just want to yell at them, "SHUT UP!! NOBODY CARES YOU LITTLE TWAT!"

7. What is your favourite curse word?

My favourite string of words for use as a curse - "Jesus fucking Christ". There's just something so primal and brutal about taking Jesus' name, using it in an angry, pissed-off fashion, unthinking fashion, and topping it off by adding "fucking" in there to show you really mean business. It's probably the most broadly offensive curse I can think of, and definitely the one I used most when terribly angered.

8. What Profession Other Than Your Own Would You Like to Attempt?

I honestly wouldn't mind being a professional chef or cook.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

QA tester. I... I just couldn't stomach it. I nitpick a lot of things, but that's something I'd hate.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Welcome, fellow sinner!"