Andy's Top 10: Most Immoral Things You Can Do In Videogames

Video games... ah, how they can be such good clean fun. From murdering waves of carnivorous zombies, to murdering waves of carnivorous foot soldiers, flipping gravity on its face or just planting some plants in the grown to... uh... murder waves of carnivorous zombies... video games are a fantastic way for people to unwind. And kill zombies. But every once in a while a video game comes out with a "moral choice" system. Sometimes these moral choices aren't very hard to make: kill the dude cos he has money you can use to progress, steal the car so you can complete the mission, and so on, and so forth. However, when a game comes along that breaks every moral code in the book, it just may be added to this list...

10

Game: Grand Theft Auto IV

Immoral Activity: Murdering Vlad to Avenge Your Fat-ass Cousin

You can do a lot of pretty evil stuff in Grand Theft Auto IV. You murder people. Torture people. Drug people. Steal their cars and drive them off cliffs. Blow up buildings. Snipe whole S.W.A.T. teams from Liberty City to a warmer, more comfortable hell. ...and on one count, laughing at Ricky Gervais' jokes. Being Niko Bellic isn't all rainbows and sunshine and puppies and laxatives. He's corrupt, as are most GTA characters, protagonists or otherwise. But maybe the worst thing Niko does is a little act of vengeance early on in the storyline.

Niko hears of Vlad sleeping with his cousin Roman's girlfriend. Roman tells Niko: "oh it's nothing, really! Don't worry about it!" So Niko, being the kind and caring cousin he is... *cough* completely disregards his cousin's sound advice, chases down Vlad, and shoots him in the face. Sure, no more immoral than the rest of the game, I'll admit. But by disregarding Roman's advice, Niko gets himself and his cousin into a world of debt, crime and greed. He gets both himself and a previously uninvolved third party into some pretty deep shit, and all because Roman values revenge and karma over justice. Pretty damn immoral if you ask me. You almost feel sorry for Roman, if he wasn't such a pussy.

9

Game: Team Fortress 2

Immoral Activity: Throwing Your Own Piss At People

Team Fortress 2 used to be such a... clean game. Amidst the bloodletting and the violence, there was a solid tactical core and surprisingly endearing characters, which made the game a huge success. Until a Jarate poster was unveiled. So many of us hoped it was just a bit of fun. A joke. In the subsequent Sniper vs. Spy update, Jarate was officially released as an unlockable weapon for the Sniper class. So while some classes build health dispensers for their teammates, and others catch up on a harmless little game of baseball, the Sniper is throwing his own piss at people to blind them. That's not just immoral. That's just gross.

"I have been shown who is the Boss!"

8

Game: God of War I, God of War II, God of War III

Immoral Activity: Being the God of War

On the one hand, you have Kratos: the most bad-ass man to have ever lived. He used to be the Gods of Olympus' pawn; he slaughtered his own family only to please them. He was loyal. He was brutal. So one day he gets goddamn fed up with it. He decides he is going to be the God of War - by killing the God of War. So Kratos goes and kills the God of War and becomes the God of War.

On the other hand... you have everyone else.

This game is so immoral. Some games give you a damn powerful dude to cut through the other dudes with not a care in the world, but the God of War? Like, the God of all war, ever? So you're putting the frickin' God of War, in a war with these poor bastards who aren't the God of War. It's sickeningly immoral. Sony tried to even it out my adding the Titans, sure. Well that ain't gonna cut it. If you want it to be a just and moral fight, have Kratos fight Chuck Norris. Nay, Chuck Norris crossed with Mr T. Crossed with Jack Bauer. You know, a fair fight? Not a morally unjust slaughter like the games are currently. When the trilogy reboots I'm expecting to see Kratos a little less bad-ass. Good.

SEE THE REST OF THE LIST FRIDAY EVENING...