Monsters vs. Aliens 3D
Monsters vs. Aliens tells of the delightful antics of some monsters and some aliens, who inadvertently start fighting each other - IN THREE DIMENSIONS!! providing you're wearing the correct eyewear. A funderful technicolour dream from the imagination of a no doubt reclusive 50s film fanatic, this is a pretty bash-fest of explosions, semi-creative cartoon characters, and typically endearing Dreamworks animation, that, as usual, is no-where near as good as Pixar (who's fantastic Up one-ups this *heh* in almost every department). The story is kind of crap, but it's got jokes to spare and it's nice to look at. Plus the 50 foot giant chick is kind of cute.
ANDY SCORE: 7/10
Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen
Transformers 2's first five minutes is stunningly good. It's so brilliantly done. The perfect mix of action, humour, giant robots beating the shit out of each other and "look at us, we're a sequel" special effects and set pieces. Unfortunately the rest of the film sinks to new lows. Like fart jokes, countless non-human sex innuendos, and the oh-so-embarrassing "old" Transformer. What the fuck? If I was born in the 1970s, I'd demand my childhood back. Luckily, I was born in the 1990s, so I'm going to demand the first Transformers film back. With the exception of this film's first five minutes, that film was superior.
ANDY SCORE: 4/10
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Another film based on iconic 1980s cartoons, and also being a "Rise of [insert evil badass here]" film, G.I. Joe is actually fairly well-made, given the subject matter. It has some nice set-pieces and car chases, and cool scene where some ninjas fight each other. Unfortunately it also rips off almost every single Star Wars film ever made - that's including the godawful prequels. Not as bad as Transformers 2, but again; I'd be demanding a refund, and my childhood back. It also loses a point for setting up for a sequel at the end. THE BAD GUY IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?? WHAT THE FUCK!?
ANDY SCORE: 6/10
Inglourious Basterds
Wow, wow, wow. This movie was actually awesome. As opposed to the insanely average fare of the films above. Quentin Tarrentino stretches his legs and heads into World War II to splatter some Nazi faces all over the freshly-cleaned carpet. Well, kind of. It's not so much a World War II flick as it is a World War II-era flick. It's historically inaccurate at almost every turn, but the main story focuses, not on the Basterds (a group of American anti-Nazis who kill Nazis and scalp them like hunters) themselves, but on a small French cinema where the movie inadvertently wraps everything up. Refreshingly violent and sickeningly detailed, almost every part of this film is good except for some of the scene's running lengths. Yeah, some of the conversations, realistic and interesting as they may be, drag on all over the joint. That said, I'd rate this film pretty damn high on my "Best Films of 2009" list.
ANDY SCORE: 9/10
Watchmen
Ah yes, Watchmen. Zack Snyder's posterboy of digital sets, superheroes, and blood. From a filmmaking perspective, the film is perfect. It looks fantastic, the set-pieces are outstanding, the animation and CGI-generated characters and objects are incredible. This is a behemoth of a film indeed, jumping from Dr Manhattan killing dudes in 'Nam to the Comedian's funeral to a rape scene to some fat guy getting his arms sawed off with a buzzsaw to Rorschach interrogating an (unbeknownst to him) dead guy. It's probably my favourite film of this year, and I'd give it a 10 out of 10 for sure. However. From a strictly non-opinionated standpoint, I will say - dear God, it wanks over the Graphic Novel. It is the Graphic Novel! It's like, the film wants to be the Graphic Novel, yet at the same time, has a sexual attraction to the Graphic Novel. So it's basically wanking over itself dressed as the Graphic Novel. I'm going to cut this analogy short now.
ANDY SCORE: 8/10
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
A thriller about a train guy having to become a hostage negotiator and subsequently losing some respect from his wife and boss. Denzel Washington does a fantastic job at keeping us, the audience, grounded to reality, while John Travolta (playing a motherfucking terrorist, motherfucker!) keeps us grounded to gritty-eality. It's a pretty damn solid film, nothing all that spectacular, but it keeps the audience interested and for a film that uses the same basic sets and premise for the first 65 or so minutes, that's incredibly well done. The dramatic score by Harry Gregson-Williams also helps build the atmosphere that the film may have lacked otherwise. Not perfect, but there's very little to fault here, despite maybe some of the acting being less-than-tight, and some of the plot twists... not all that twisty.
ANDY SCORE: 7/10
District 9
Not the last film I've seen, but probably last I'll review (today, at least), District 9 is a massive achievement. The first fifteen minutes sets up the film like a documentary, and is incredibly intuitive and inventive. We don't see it as an audience, but we're introduced to our strangely lovable hero, our unique setting (for a science fiction film at least), and to all the major plot points through the eyes of a camera crew. Then, about 25 minutes or so in... BLAM.
The film begins. Still a mix of cinema and news footage and fake CCTV footage, it's a massive alien thrill-ride, with our unpredictable yet endearing hero thrown into an unfortunate struggle for his life. It's surprising, it has a funnily warm message to share about humanity, and it's exciting as hell. For me, Watchmen trumps this, but I would like to think that this could very well be the (action) film of the year. Plus, Peter Jackson! Aliens! It's like the Halo film he never finished!ANDY SCORE: 10/10
Aside from these films, I also saw the fantastic Up, the lacking Ice Age 3D: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, and probably the only adult-oriented 3D film that was actually not insanely average, Final Destination 3D, which is awesome (if you're a closet sadist like me).
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